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He's her partner, it should be a couple's choice together since it's going to impact them together. It's not completely his decision, but if she's going to be respectful of their marriage it should at least be part his decision. In my experience with W4W, the can either inhibit the experience or add to it depending on how he handles it.
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Only so much I can say here but I am the charitable sort I agree about the skipping drinking, good decisions are not made while intoxicated. Mixing friendship and sex can be very very difficult to pull off. I'm no longer friends with the woman who was my friend that I slept with.
It's can just get awkward or weird emotions come up. I think finding a friend in the strictly platonic area is a good idea, but you need to be up front that you might eventually like a friend with benefits if there is chemistry and all parties are willing.
Take steps, find a willing woman and go out to dinner in a public place and get to know her first. Most importantly, for the sake of your relationship with your wife I learned this the hard way set up guidelines as to what you're comfortable with each other doing.
For example, are you just going to watch, or can you touch your wife? Are you allowed to touch yourself? What are you comfortable with her doing? Can she touch you, is it just kissing the woman, or can she take it further. I could have saved myself a lot of jealousy issues if I had talked with my partner about this instead of just saying "I want to experiment with "Insert Woman's Name Here" and I want you to be present", because when I wasn't specific and I invited him along, things I didn't expect happened.
Just saying, cover your bases, talk it out and maybe experiment with fantasies in the bedroom with just the two of you first. Maybe watch girl on girl porn together if you're both comfortable with that as a starter. Adult hookups searching sexual encounters. Feedback is very appreciated!
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