Suck me fastly Fuck me slowly I am attractive and like to take care of myself and am waiting for a partner who is Marriage advice wanted same.
I am working and living at the club wed-sun evening, off mondays and tuesdays. Believe that you complemented me on my eyes as you handed me the receipt.
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Discussion in ' Christian Advice ' started by wtrailer , Nov 1, We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless! Marriage advice Discussion in ' Christian Advice ' started by wtrailer , Nov 1, Nov 1, 1. I just wanted to get some advice and prayers regarding my marriage. I've been married for 20 years and I'm almost 40 years old. During the first half of our marriage my wife was very strong in the Lord and she was very active in our church and with our children - training them up to be good Christians.
Around the 9 year mark her parents divorced and things were never the same again. She seemed to lose interest in faith, church, ect. She also got into alcohol and continues to drink every night. He language has become terrible too, and she doesn't care what the kids hear her say no matter how foul. I feel that the spiritual part of our relationship is gone and it makes me feel extremely lonely. The desire to have a vibrant Christian wife who prays for you, is involved in ministries, small groups, ect.
It's very lonely and depressing. I pray for her us everyday and share some but not all of my feelings as I fear a backlash. I know you can't change people, people have to change themselves. I don't know what the future holds and I feel really down about this. Any advice and prayers would be greatly appreciated. I know the Lord answers prayers. He has answered many for me and performed many miracles in my life. This issue just seems to linger.
We teamed up with Faith Counseling. Can they help you today? Nov 1, 2. Do you like to read? Then do your best to live it out, if you're not already. There is not much you can do about her choices, though you can choose how to respond to her choices.
Have you ever talked with her about her parent's divorce? If she always saw her parent's marriage as solid, it probably shattered her belief that any marriage can be solid, and she might not know how to deal with a change in what she believes, since beliefs are a core part of a person's identity, especially if she ever felt like she had to pick sides or was otherwise part of the process.
You say your wife became a professional? Usually that means she has learned objectivity and critical thinking, so maybe you could appeal to those strengths in talking with her about how to handle stressful situations like her parent's divorce. What kind of backlash? What is the fear about? What is the worst that could happen if you talk with her about your real feelings, your own pain over her choices? I'm rather concerned when people say they are in a marriage where they are not free or safe enough to express their own needs and emotions with their spouse.
Nov 1, 3. Nov 1, 4. I don't know if there's much you can do until she addresses her issues, with the drinking, people often curse and they use it to blot out memories, but remain in denial. For yourself you need to learn to let go. This doesn't mean divorce but it means you can't expect her to be what you want.
You need to go ahead with the ministry God calls you to without your wife. He may send you elders brothers you can partner with and pray with, like a mens group. I think then she may start to realise you can live a christian life not dependent on her input, and she may respect that or it may convict her to follow your example, but you are giving her the free will to make that choice. Continue to pray that she'll come back to the Lord.
Nov 2, 5. You're right we can't change people. Encourage you to continue to pray including asking Yahweh for His wisdom James 1: Also, encourage you to read "Love and Respect" by Emerson think he was a pastor for decades.
The book is based on husbands Love your wives and wives Respect your husbands Eph 5: Believe that it will reveal some things for you.
Nov 2, 6. Part of the problem is, what we think is Christian living is really Churchianity. Its the 'religious' realm but not the Kingdom. Its 'what we think Christians are supposed to live like, be like, act like, and a continual hamster wheel of movement but not really getting anywhere.
Then when the crap hits the fan, and all the supports break away, we wonder 'where' is this GOD, the Church the help? It is a person so depressed and 'beat up' that they don't want to continue and actually become more of seemingly an atheist than a believer. That is what Galatians is all about.
Paul calls it "another gospel" in the first chapter. Because churchianty is really religion. I've seen many good 'Christian' families get so messed up, and one of the spouses want to 'keep it together' while the other seemingly falls into wicked sin.
Really its often the clean church one that is more messed up. One has sins of selfish feeding, the other of religious self righteousness.
Just the one that is knee deep in sin is actually closer. JESUS friend of sinners. Nov 2, 7. Nov 2, 8. Wow, those are some great responses. Thank you all very much. I hope that I am not coming off religious.
That is not my intent. I just want my wife to have a renewed relationship with Christ. I believe that that is the only answer to this dilemma. Going to church is just an extension of that relationship. So is sobriety and taming the tongue. Without the relationship it would be phony righteousness. I think it's time for me to start getting involved - maybe join a small group. She says she would be interested too but I would definitely want it to go deeper than just some occasional church activity.
What I think I really need is Christian fellowship. I have very little of it now. Thank you for the advice about not expressing depression and loneliness and not arguing and pleading. Those are very wise statements and I've taken them to heart. Nov 2, 9. Also, how should I respond when she says extremely terrible and vulgar things, especially in front of the kids?
If I confront her things usually get uglier. Nov 2, It seems her faith 'fell apart' at her parent's divorce. Sometimes that is a matter of an inadequate set of beliefs that failed her at that time. Apostasy and anger are not uncommon when that happens. Such people need insightful, non-condemning, intelligent conversations with people who can 'get behind' the reactions and invite reconsideration.
Not fault by you, but you will probably be the last person right now that she will listen to. That's hard to take I know. Bless you John NZ. Nov 3, I would express regret that she is frustrated or whatever negative emotion is at the top of the list at that time. Then keep the conversation with the kids going.
I agree with JohnNZ and tturt.
He took scenic hikes on his own. It proved that all couples need to find a balance between together time and time spent independently. The husband was deeply sorry and wanted to do anything in his power to repair the marriage. The wife was, of course, devastated. She never expected it. Session after session, the wife claimed she couldn't figure out how she could ever forgive him. Weeks, then months, went by. The husband hung in there. She asked him to move out while she determined what she should do.
She asked him to move back in. Then, she asked him to move out again because she needed more time. He did everything she asked him to do but nothing seemed to move her out of her pain. This merry-go-round continued seemingly endlessly. Finally, I said to her, 'Look. You can stay in the marriage or you can leave. But you can't spend the rest of your life -- and his -- in this cycle. You can't punish him every day of his life for having an affair. If you think you can forgive, then do so.
If you can't -- and that's OK, too -- move on. This isn't fair to either one of you. News Politics Entertainment Communities. Opinion HuffPost Personal Videos. Tattoo Artists Weigh In. It Sells No Meat Whatsoever. This is the moment when you must see through the annoying, demanding, complaining, failing, faltering wreck in front of you—and find the strong, kind, fascinating, functional person you know your spouse wants to be.
You have to learn to be a critic without criticizing. The kind of criticism that helps marriage is the kind you learned in English class: If you apply this kind of criticism in marriage, it is actually possible to stop a spouse in mid-spiral sometimes even in mid-sentence! In the short term, you might know she wants a promotion, or he wants to live in the country.
A long, long time ago, I asked my husband what he wanted. I mean Wanted, with a capital W. He gave me his answer PS, it was none of those things , and, when he asked me, I gave him mine. The specifics only mattered to the extent that we each had an answer, and that neither of us was planning to knock off a bank. Disillusion, of course, enters in time. There are no full-grown perfect beings.
Sooner or later the frailties are recognized. But there is in most people a better self which the fallible self hides; and the greatest privilege of the married life is to be the one who assists the other more and more to do justice to that better possibility. William Butler Yeats spent his life desperately in love with a woman he never got to marry, so, sadly, he never had the chance to exercise this privilege. To newly married couples, I would say: Assist your spouse in doing justice to that better possibility.
By the time we met we were already middle-aged. We had figured out a few things we wanted and a few others we decidedly did not. And that keeping hold of that feeling of incredible good fortune would take work: Watch the sequence from Funny Girl again. Streisand cannot believe her good luck either.
This man is showering her with diamonds and money, a big house and pretty clothes, status, security and, finally, a baby. He is the giver, and when the giving ends, so does the marriage.
These days, now that dowries are mostly out of fashion, the marriage ceremony is actually pretty egalitarian:
I tell the spouses, 'To begin marriage counseling without going how they could move forward -- both partners wanted to save their marriage. We asked a panel of relationship experts to share their best piece of advice on If they wanted to save the marriage and didn't want a divorce, why did they call. The Single Best Piece of Marriage Advice Ever Given. Simon & Example: A long, long time ago, I asked my husband what he wanted. I mean.