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If you go to any major city in China, you will invariably run into the foreign man-Chinese woman pairings in any major tourist or shopping destination; not so with foreign women and Chinese men.

There are hardly enough books depicting foreign women with Chinese boyfriends or husbands. West Wind Buck, Pearl S. Oriental Novels of Pearl S. Several years ago, when my husband enrolled in a New Oriental class in Shanghai for GRE prep, the instructor warned all of the Chinese men: When you have a Chinese husband or boyfriend, sometimes you feel as if you belong to a lonely club.

One of my dearest e-mail friends, a woman from Germany, once found me on the net because she had a — then — Chinese boyfriend and yearned to find someone to share her experience with. So I began to wonder — why are there so few Chinese guys and foreign girls becoming couples? Of course, some of it has its roots in the usual stereotypes — stereotypes in the Western World. Rarely have they been depicted with traditionally masculine traits.

Lacking machismo, they almost never get the girl. However, the subtext is often that foreign women are a dangerous choice — too casual, the temptress, etc — or could not accept a Chinese way of life.

Generally, the pressure to split up comes from the family since, after all, in China, marriage is a family affair. There was one Chinese boyfriend who told me, flat out, that his parents would never accept me. Even my own husband was first told by his parents that he could be friends with a foreign girl, but not date her. Fortunately, their ideas changed when they met me in person! On the other hand, there are Chinese men — and their families — who would be happy to have a foreign woman in the family.

But there are other complications. For example, my good friend in Hangzhou, Xiao Yu, once told me that some Chinese men cannot overcome their feeling of inferiority — that being an American girl, a citizen of one of the most powerful countries in the world, made my presence somewhat intimidating. According to Xiao Yu, some Chinese men could never believe that such a girl would become their one and only.

A driver who took me to the Beijing Airport this summer admitted he once had a Russian girlfriend when he was a college student. But he said he was never able to satisfy her yes, in that way , so they parted. The experience was so traumatic that he never sought another foreign girlfriend again. On the flip side, I suspect that some foreign women might be unwilling to give Chinese men a chance because of money.

Average Chinese men tend not to earn big salaries in China, unless they are, for example, bosses, high-powered execs, or an in-demand talent. And if they are to leave China to go to her country, they will face even more obstacles to earning money — language, culture, prejudices. Still, despite the odds, sterotypes and other barriers, it does happen that Chinese men and foreign women get together. On occasion, it even creeps into the news, like this story. But because I love him.

Or are you a Chinese man dating or married to a Chinese woman? What did I miss? I too, am a white woman with an Asian male partner. I do know, however, that we draw interested eyes. Actually, I did mention Repeat after me in there it was right after Foreign Babes — and I agree, the book is even better than Foreign Babes.

Hi, I came accross your site after I googled English girls and Chinese guys. In some posts on here it states how Chinese see educational achievement higher than anything else, but being a bit geeky myself I thought it wouldnt matter. So a mixture of being controlled and him staring at me all the time because he thought i was awesome was really full on. Any thoughts on this? I think your unscientific suggestion holds some truth to it.

There is something to be said for that golden green card and, later, foreign passport, which liberates the Chinese from, among other things, those hukou headaches. My exceedingly unscientific guess is that many of us first go to China for personal reasons to improve our Mandarin, career opportunities, interest in the culture, etc and therefore are already committed to the country.

On the other side, our husbands, if they have specialized talents or skills, may feel more comfortable pursuing their career in their home country where they might feel less marginalized , or may simply see many more opportunities in China.

Plus, the support of your Chinese family could be a bonus depending on your relationship with the inlaws, of course! I would agree there is racism in China, which is often not recognized. I would argue that many more Chinese women simply are looking for love that may not be so available in China because they are divorced HUGE stigma in China , or too old women 30 or older are often considered undesirable as wives. I grew up in a progressive American town with traditional Asian male role models my judo instructors.

That makes me unusual, I know. However, I cannot think of a combination more prone to heartache than a typical Western woman and a traditional Eastern man. You note how hard it is for the Easterners to accept the Western woman. I spent 6 years with a man of Chinese origin, five of those years in Asia.

Hardest thing I ever did. I think Chinese men, not ethnically Chinese, but as actually from China are disgusting. They are rude, smell bad, treat women like shit, and are usually uneducated and stupid. To think that one whole nation is bad is a symptom of brainwashing.

Pookie is just a jelly white loser who dated an Asian girl with citizenship offer. I think Chinese culture is more racist than most realize. Since men are generally more invested in the privileges accorded them by that culture, they are less likely to want a woman from another culture, especially one that may threaten Chinese cultural norms.

You see this pattern in Japan or in Taiwan; yet, men in those countries will fairly often marry foreign women, but ones from lower status in other lower status Asian countries. Japanese men with poor Vietnamese wives, etc. And yes it is true that there are far more Chinese women with foreign men, but a great many of those couples break up, and sad to say, a good many of those marriages are based on the woman cheating the man so she can get a visa to live in Europe or America definitiely not Vietnam.

I think the cultural barriers and negative stereotype is the biggest hurdles within a relationship. Traditional Chinese by cultural instinct tend to be conservative, not just in relationship but in every part of their social life. If you look at Chinese people and how they are brought up, then you would understand how this psychological dynamic works, it is quite fascinating from both psychological and cultural anthropology point of view.

But most people with any sort of mental capacity would know that these thinkings are not always true, and sometimes outright wrong. However, since most Chinese people are brought like that, and most of their reference groups are also Chinese people with similar upbringing, therefore chinese people tend accept these myths as the law of the land.

The second problem, which is that Chinese people marry not just for the sake of marrying. Also, divorces are seen as a big no no in China, despite the fact that it is increasing in the major chinese cities each year.

And most Chinese people have this false notion that people in the western societies have a higher divorce rate. Lastly, Chinese have a mentality that most westerners women are a nymphet, probably from all the stories they heard from the so called trustworthy source, which is further reinforced by some strange news media reports. While, from a pure genetic and physiological point of view this is true; as the Chinese people tend to have less exercise when they are young nerds anyone and people with the brain not the brawn tend to be more successful at finding mates, which feeds back onto itself to create the ultimate geek.

Furthermore, those Chinese people whom tend to migrate overseas are not the hard labourers, but people with certain degrees of education, which almost all Chinese aspire to as the ultimate form of life achievement. So basically nerds breed nerds…. So for those Chinese men whom are brave enough to go against their upbringings and date a western women, heavy odds are stacked against them. Also, the fact that unless the lady has significant Chinese cultural and language skills, there will be a large communication barrier.

While, for those Chinese man whom dates and marry a western women, then like in most relationships they will have arguments about certain things. Then there is a matter of sex, which brings up further point of conflicts.

As they say no relationship is ever lasting, and it will only last as long as you want it to last. Also, most westerners tend to be quite straight forward in their criticism, and most Chinese men are bad at taking criticisms. However, not all is lost, as more ABC Chinese kids are dating and marrying western girls. These relationship is usually more stable, as ABC Chinese kids have probably grown up in the western society, can speak English and are not that overtly negative about whom their children dates, as long as they are not some druggies, criminal or other undesirables.

But, there are only two kinds of men regardless of being under Western, or Eastern Tradition. My impression of the first being manly in manner of speech, not-so-cool, uncivilized, and always following the rules just like why they are from a nation that joined The Plain Language Organization.

The second being outgoing, effeminate, civilized, very expressive, and more open. There is no compromise. I checked it out of the library and returned it halfway in. That image pervades society and it affects us daily. I have lots of friends who admit they feel sheepish or intimidated around non-Asian girls, and all their wit and charm fly out the window.

Hopefully we all start lightening up. We feel it regularly here ourselves, in microaggressive actions towards my husband. For example, when he came back to his grad student office which he shares , the other students had moved his desk behind the door — without asking his permission — to give his most coveted window spot to another girl. Most foreign women who come to China have at least a BA, whereas until recently it was rare for Chinese people to get a higher education.

In China, just like in the US, guys feel awkward about dating a woman who has a higher educational level than they do. That was something that kept me apart from a man for a long time but we are going to try to get over that.

However, because more and more young people coming to China to study, and more and more Chinese people going to the US to study, I think more young people will get a chance to meet and fall in love in a natural way. More Chinese men than before are going to college, and Chinese salaries seem to be rising relative to expat ones. Problem 4 still remains, I guess, but I hope over time, people will become less prejudiced.

I mean, there are more than half a billion men in China. Is it so hard to believe that some of them would be cool? Your experience as an American white woman in China, reminded me of my own experiences as a Japanese woman in her own country, Japan.

Women compete to be thin for men – a pursuit exacerbated in modern times

Some people want to be leaner, and others would like more hair; but if there were one thing I could change about my physical appearance, I would like to be a few inches taller. I'm not extremely short, but at 5 foot 9, I'm an inch shorter than the average American male and a lot shorter than some of the business leaders I've met. You might say that if being 5 foot 9 is the only thing I have to worry about, I must have better things to write about. Perhaps, but I do think height affects how people perceive you in the work force and therefore subtly affects your potential success in some careers.

One of the reasons I left the corporate world early was that I didn't feel I was getting much respect. Out of college I started selling radio advertising for a Toronto-based broadcaster. But in the radio business, you start at the bottom, which for me meant taking a job in Sudbury, a small mining town four hours north of Toronto. I inherited a dormant customer list and within a year turned it into a thriving book of business.

Having put in my time and proved I could sell, I felt I deserved a job in the big city. I applied for an open position in Toronto, and shortly after the interview I was turned down. I was told something about "not being ready. Did my height have anything to do with not getting the job? I don't know, but I'm pretty sure my physical appearance didn't help. I was young, short ish , and did not fit the mold of a radio sales executive at the time.

It was a field made up mostly of former high school jocks and tall, attractive women. In the ensuing 20 years, I've been doing an informal height survey of business leaders. When I met Tim Ferriss, the superstar entrepreneur, author, and impresario, I was not surprised that he, too, is vertically challenged--a smidge shorter than me, I would guess.

Shortly after meeting Ferriss, I met the president of business banking for a large Fortune bank, and sure enough, he was about 6 foot 3. Then I started observing business leaders in a social setting and I noticed that taller people were generally carrying most conversations.

If a short person was getting any attention at a cocktail party, it was often because the person was very loud or flamboyant. All things being equal, most eyes wander to the tall. Since my observations are probably biased because of my insecurities over my height, I decided to embark on a slightly more scientific study. I wanted to compare the average height of the CEOs of the 10 largest companies in America with that of a selection of successful entrepreneurs.

It turns out, that's much harder than it sounds. Unlike professional athletes, most CEOs don't publish their height. In Warhurst, John; Simms, Marian. University of Queensland Press. Retrieved 23 April Retrieved April 23, Fatherhood politics in the United States: University of Illinois Press.

Despite their claims of victimhood, men's and fathers' rights advocates are usually white, middle-class, heterosexual men who tend to overlook their institutional and socioeconomical advantages in work and the family An Encyclopedia of Issues, Viewpoints, and Voices.

Nevada Law Journal , special issue: Men, Masculinities, and Law: A Symposium on Multidimensional Masculinities Theory. Boyd School of Law. Where are the Men's Rights guys when it comes to 'other' men? Men's Rights is almost entirely a movement of angry, straight, white men. Make Room for Daddy". Also available via HeinOnline. Retrieved August 12, Social Movements and Cultural Resources". University of California Press. Another example of contractual model rhetoric is in the language of the Men's Rights movement.

As a countermovement to the feminist movement , it has concentrated on areas generally thought of as family law—especially divorce and child custody laws. The movement charges that maternal preference in child custody decisions is an example of gender prejudice, with men the ones who are systematically disadvantaged Similarly, along with the appeal to "equal rights for fathers" The needs rhetoric helps offset charges that their rights language is motivated by self-interest alone.

While conservative elements of the men's rights position overtly describe themselves as a 'backlash' to feminism, their more liberal counterpart's self-proclaimed commitment to 'the true equality of both sexes and to the liberation of both sexes from their traditional roles' Clatterbaugh The men's rights movement is distinct from other explorations of masculinity insofar as the movement itself is fundamentally situated in opposition to feminist theory and activism.

Unraveling our Patriarchal Legacy. Contrary to Bly's claim, it is not a parallel to the women's movement that is merely on a "different timetable. It may help to heal some of the damage patriarchy does to men's lives. But it is not a movement aimed at the system and the gender dynamics that actually cause that damage.

Retrieved March 27, Retrieved 20 October The big issue that has India divided". Countering myths of gender bias in family law" PDF. Several authors have observed that men's rights groups claim that the family law system and the Family Court are biased against men, despite the lack of supporting empirical research.

Also available through HeinOnline. Men and gender relations. In the name of the fathers: Rhetorical Framing in the Fathers' Rights Movement". Typifying Contemporary Social Problems 2nd ed. Handbook of father involvement: Not According to Scientific Evidence. Journal of Child Sexual Abuse. A handbook for mental health professionals and lawyers". In Loseke, Donileen R. Australian Journal of Family Law. Research has highlighted that it is usually disaffected fathers and men's rights groups, who have masked their own claims behind the rhetoric of the rights of the child to know and be cared for by both parents.

Journal of Family Studies. Why does he do that? Retrieved 8 November Archived from the original on 20 October Retrieved 3 November The Practice of Circumcision in the United States". Journal of Gender, Social Policy and the Law.

Institute for Women's Studies in the Arab World. Women's defense of men's right to bodily integrity and their work against MGM will not have a negative impact on their struggle against FGM.

Male and female circumcision medical, legal, and ethical considerations in pediatric practice. Science, Society and the Human Spirit. A Common Form of Disregard for Men's Rights… Glick emphasizes that infants are persons with full civil rights, and therefore no one has the right to impose circumcision on them—not even parents.

Female genital mutilation FGM and male circumcision: Should there be a separate ethical discourse? The Myth of Male Power: Retrieved 29 January Sacks, Glenn ; Thompson, Dianna 9 July Retrieved 15 July McElroy, Wendy 12 August Bingley, West Yorkshire, UK: Why Most Divorce Filers are Women".

American Law and Economics Review. Office for National Statistics. Retrieved October 22, Encyclopedia of interpersonal violence.

Current controversies on family violence. Retrieved 6 February The victimization of women: Neither angels nor demons: Retrieved 22 December The problem with boys' education: Retrieved 14 July Reassessing gender and achievement: Retrieved 26 December Australian Journal of Teacher Education. The changing profile of our students". Contemporary perspectives on masculinity: Men, women, and politics in modern society Reissued 2nd.

Indeed the premise of all men's rights literature is that men are not privileged relative to women Having denied that men are privileged relative to women, this movement divides into those who believe that men and women are equally harmed by sexism and those who believe that society has become a bastion of female privilege and male degradation. Think again, say advocates". Retrieved November 24, Retrieved 30 December Discrimination Against Men and Boys.

Department of Health and Human Services". Women in Clinical Trials". A cross-sectional study of the "big five" medical journals". Progress, Pitfalls, and Promise. Why Men are The Disposable Sex 21st anniversary ed. A brief history with a view to practice, Health Sociology Review, Reflections on the causes of sex differences in life expectancy".

Retrieved 5 March The Journal of the American Osteopathic Association. Williams 1 January Promise Keepers and the New Masculinity: Private Lives and Public Morality. Retrieved 10 June Merle Longwood; Mark William Muesse, eds. Westminster John Knox Press. In contradistinction to profeminism, however, the men's rights perspective addresses specific legal and cultural factors that put men at a disadvantage. The movement is made up of a variety of formal and informal groups that differ in their approaches and issues; Men's rights advocates, for example, target sex-specific military conscription and judicial practices that discriminate against men in child custody cases.

Who will fight the next war?: Retrieved 12 November Goldberg at Cornell University Law School. Rethinking the moral 'crime' of 'paternity fraud ' ".

Women's Studies International Forum , special issue: Women and Technologies of Reproduction. Genetic Ties and the Family: Retrieved 27 October Retrieved 28 August Retrieved 1 November Kimmel; Amy Aronson, Men and Masculinities: Retrieved 23 December Feminists have used rape 'as a scam ' ".

Retrieved 11 June A gap or a chasm?: Attrition in reported rape cases PDF. National Coalition For Men. Retrieved 6 May The New Politics of Masculinity: Men, Power and Resistance.

Violence, Gender and Justice. Feminist Perspectives on Family Law. Tethinking the Politics of Pleasure. It is there that 7 February has been declared International Men's Day by the men's rights groups, celebrated in Kansas City in as a day for campaigning against the legal recognition of 'marital rape' Strike at the Root.

Archived from the original on July 6, Retrieved 11 October If a man feels he needs to file for divorce, his wife can say 'If you do, I'll accuse you of spousal rape. I don't deny that the elements involved with rape can occur in a marriage.

But the problem with the concept of having something called marital rape is that it makes every man vulnerable in a bad situation to blackmail. Insight on the News. Much of his support has come from men's rights organizations and conservative Christian groups, which tend to argue that a crime such as marital rape should not be on the books because consent to sex is part of the marriage covenant.

Archived from the original on 31 March Retrieved 30 September South China Morning Post. Antifeminist Men's Rights Discourses on Rape". Court of Appeals for the Sixth Circuit, case No. Retrieved 11 May Adolescent Teenage Suicide Prevention. Gun Ownership Trends and Demographics".

Retrieved May 30, Kimmel, Michael; Kaufman, Michael Women, Men and Gender. Brod, Harry ; Kaufman, Michael , eds. Canadian Association of University Teachers. Archived from the original on May 18, Retrieved May 7, Disturbingly, we have seen in the past year the rise of misogynist men's rights groups on campuses and in communities across the country — an alarming trend that requires our attention and action.

Views on Gender, Sex, and Power. Retrieved 19 April Men's Rights philosophies make angry and controlling men even worse". We Hunted The Mammoth. Gender-neutral language Gender neutrality in English Gender discrimination Gender equality Male—female income disparity in the United States Objectification Reverse discrimination Income inequality in the United States Women-only passenger car.

Theory Gender equality Gender inequality Hegemonic masculinity Gender archaeology Gender history Gender identity Gender inequality Gender studies Gender performativity Masculine psychology Salic law Sociology of fatherhood Sociology of gender.

Marriage of convenience Paternal bond Paternal rights and abortion Paternalism Paternity fraud Reproductive justice Reproductive rights Paper abortion Stay-at-home dad Tender years doctrine. Sex and the law Sex differences in humans Sex in advertising Sexual harassment Sexual objectification Sexual revolution Human male sexuality Initiatives to prevent sexual violence Testosterone poisoning Gender binary. Men in nursing Homemaking Occupational segregation Gender marking in job titles.

Dating violence Domestic violence Domestic violence against men Forced circumcision Rape Boys are stupid, throw rocks at them! Alimony Deadbeat parent Dominator culture Arranged marriage Forced marriage. Airline sex discrimination policy controversy Body shape Discrimination Economic inequality Educational attainment in the United States by Sex. Outline Abusive power and control Epidemiology of domestic violence Cycle of abuse Conflict tactics scale Domestic violence and pregnancy Effects of domestic violence on children Intervention Intimate partner violence Domestic violence against men Women's shelter Domestic violence hotlines.

Marital rape Sexual violence by intimate partners. Abuse Battered woman syndrome Birth control sabotage Bride-buying Elder abuse Reproductive coercion Situational couple violence Stalking Traumatic bonding.

Fat women just need to workout instead of saying "skinny men might like me" Grow taller since our height to weight ratio is super offensive. “Guys like them, to get a girl like one of these in the States, they've gotta blond and redheaded and skinny and chubby and tall and short and . one meeting spots, specially for single men looking for sexy girls, and night live activities. . ( Warren, Michigan, police chief Danny Clark actually said, “I did not. It is known, for instance that height is controlled by a number of different I once saw a woman in her mid- forties who should have been fat, but wasn't. on a relatively calorie poor diet and were, for the most part, thin and healthy. When the white men came, however, bringing their accustomed diet with.