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Her very presence, she recalled, was "a walking challenge to the men. Azadi had joined a growing number of women in Iran who are electing to remain single, defying their parents' expectations and the strict conventions of the Islamic Republic.
Still, Azadi had to balance independence with caution. Is she available for sex? And I managed to live there for two years without anyone harassing me. More than 3 million educated Iranian women over 30 are unmarried, according to Mizan, the official news agency of Iran's judiciary. Their numbers are increasing as divorce becomes more common and more women attend universities, exposing them to careers and incomes independent of men who, by law and custom, are supposed to be their guardians.
That is a profound generational shift in a society of 80 million whose theocracy preaches that a woman's main purpose in life is to be a wife and mother. Clerics promote marriage relentlessly and often cite the prophet Muhammad, who is quoted as saying about his own marriage: But once equipped with degrees, many struggle to find men willing to embrace a more liberated woman.
A university graduate working as a tour guide, she is fluent in English and Russian. These days it is difficult to find a really open-minded Iranian man. They are lagging behind us. Azadi, her styled golden-brown hair half-covered by a patterned ivory scarf, described a man she lived with for two years. She broke up with him last year after he refused to let her go out in the evenings alone and interrogated her after parties about men she had danced next to.
Her late father, a goldsmith, and mother supported her decision to remain single — particularly after her older sister, a successful lawyer with a year-old son, divorced a husband who opposed her going on business trips. Several women interviewed spoke with an extraordinary frankness about sex and relationships that would shock Iran's buttoned-up mullahs. That alone reflects how women are asserting themselves, particularly among the urban middle class, where the Internet and Western satellite channels are slowly expanding the boundaries of what is socially acceptable.
In the last nine months of , the number of registered marriages nationwide dipped by 3. Marrying remains a powerful norm in Iran, and many laws still treat women as the property of men.
Married women need their husbands' permission to travel outside the country. In , the parliament attempted to pass legislation that would have required single women of any age to get their father's consent to travel overseas. Women's rights groups rose up to defeat the proposal. A more recent relationship with a suave computer expert broke up when he told her he would only marry a virgin. But with so much of Iranian life centered on the family, many single women struggle with loneliness.
He would bring up money at odd times, she said. Sometimes he would slip in underhanded comments, saying she must have gotten her job through family connections. We educated Iranian girls are stuck between tradition and modernity. I just want to be a decent girl who is a traditional mom and at the same time part of modern society. Hajar Hasani, a year-old pathologist, divorced her surgeon husband two years ago after his long work hours took a toll on their marriage. He had grown uninterested in sex, she said, although later she found suggestive texts on his phone from nurses and female co-workers.
She already had rejected two suitors, she added, because they seemed mainly to be after sex. In many rural areas, attitudes remain staunchly traditional. A year-old theater actress from the Kurdish region of northwest Iran said that marriage prospects in her hometown were limited to truck drivers, and that she would have been forced to become a housewife had she stayed home.
The actress, who asked to be identified as Marziyeh to avoid angering her conservative family, moved to Tehran to study drama over the worries of her parents. But she remains hopeful — because of the growing ranks of single women like her. Outside, Marziyeh stepped into a taxi and rode back to the apartment she shares with a single girlfriend. She had a date that night. Pastry, fat, and perfection: A recipe for Baghdad's favorite breakfast food.
A reluctant Islamic State fighter insists he never wanted 'to get my hands bloody'. A woman shops for textbooks in downtown Tehran. But men in the building still wondered about the single young woman upstairs. Fahimeh Azadi, 35, a university graduate and tour guide who is fluent in English and Russian, is among a growing number of women in Iran who are electing to remain single. Now 35, Azadi has moved to a more genteel part of town but still lives by herself.
They are lagging behind us Fahimeh Azadi. Eventually, she dumped him. As divorces become more common, some women are picky about whether to remarry. Mostaghim is a special correspondent. Be the first to comment Hide Comments.
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The mullahs don't like it, but 3 million Iranian women older than 30 are unmarried . Many earned (Carolyn Cole / Los Angeles Times). Then in . Married women need their husbands' permission to travel outside the country. The mission of the East Los Angeles Women's Center is to ensure that all women , and personal well-being, free from violence and abuse, with equal access to. Looking for spirituality events in Los Angeles? Whether you're Fri, Nov 2, 7: 00pm + 2 more events. Crenshaw Christian Center, Los Angeles, CA. Free. Share.