Have three children that he can RAISE on his own (no i would not have ever had children with you if i knew you would turn into an boobshole loser).
Enjoyed your smiles and our limited 3rd period conversation. Planning on doing nothing productive and having lots of fun. If interested, send a picture and tell me a little about yourself. Please include a pic in your email. Get intouch soon, cuties. 420.
No matter how great a FWB relationship seems at first having your cake and eating it too? Becoming his girlfriend 2. Turning a non-relationship to a non-breakup. Take Our Poll Like it or not, guys are more physically oriented. Girls are more emotionally oriented. We girls hate it.
How do you feel when you have to stop yourself from texting and calling him as much as you want? Casual sex can only exist where there is only a physical connection. When the guy is otherwise almost a stranger. If there is something more — a friendship, or any other communication other than being naked — casual sex is an illusion, not a reality. We both made it clear to one another that there is no commitment involved here.
That this is not a relationship. I never told him how I feel about him Until he said it first. I never asked him how he feels about me. I never demanded anything but it was easy, he treated me really well 5. I kept it a secret from every one. We had fun together, out of bed too.
We laughed a lot. We interrogated each other about our past, including past relationships and dates. I always spent the whole night at his place after intimacy. But in the morning I was gone. This is just my experience, but obviously your guy is not my guy.
He is completely different and your situation is too. The secret is to learn how the male mind works. And to accept that it works differently than yours. I assure you that he has feelings for you. See this video to discover the one thing the one thing men are universally obsessed with. They are just a way to make him open his eyes and see what he has, before he loses you forever. I had a very close friend,,,, after that we became fwb,,, I started having feelings for him though he had a girlfriend,,, I decided to tell him how I was feeling for him.
I need him back,,, he went silent its now 3 days. You are correct, he only wanted sex, without any obligation. I think maybe I would take this time to think hard why I fell for a guy that cheats on his girlfriend and uses me the way he did. Could it be related to lack of self love and self appreciation? Hi, I have been looking around for experiences on fwb since Im new at this.
Ok, so I met this guy at work, I have kids he does not and he is also younger than me. Im not looking for a relationship since I would not trust anybody with my kids. We talked and we came to the agreement of being fwb. He wrote me again after a week and we started talking again.
I have to say that sometimes we made plans and at the last minute he just canceled them. After that weekend things got complicated he started writing me more but when I started doing the same thing he pushed me back.
He knows a couple of my friends and insisted that we all went out together. We work in the same company different departments he used to have my account to watch movies but I changed my pass since he started to ignore me and it feels kind of bad. He is going in vacation now with a group of people including women. Sometimes he would tell me things like get jealous and tell me he was playing, he used to do that a lot. I understand that since we were only fwb I have to accept that he may hook up with someone else but I know now that Im not ok with someone that treats me like a second option.
The problem is when i said this to him while text chatting. His reply was omg!! How do u type so fast?! I mean i know he has feelings for me too but he will never say it out and what makes it worse us that he is a very reserved private person so u can nver tell whats on his mind. Im so clueless help!!! First of all, telling him about your feelings through text was probably a bad idea, but I think you know this. I would let this be for now and not mention it again.
He knows how you feel now, give him some time to process it and decide what he wants to do. When he will, he will let you know some way. He gets on my nerves sometimes. He keeps leaving these hints but idk he leaves it hanging.
He is enjoying himself. The reason i hooked up was because im like sheldon cooper n that guys runs a magazine at 19 so he wanted nothing out of it and me neither. He is a very private person. He has plenty of haters n even his closest friends dnt know abt us.
I mean they do and keep asking him whats going on but he just smiles. We met yesterday after that episode of awkward texts and id specially told him im specifically plz dnt discuss it n he was like u were saying something yesterday. Lol i gave him a playful slap n ge was like lol u sure right.
We got high later and had sex again just this time it felt like less sex and more cute. He told me to finish college fast and i said why planning to employ me and he kissed me and said because you wont get this in college and i was like ur not the last man alive.
My vacations are over. He said he will visit and i will also. My college is just a 2 hour drive from home but we wont b a text away anymore. I dont want college to change things atleast not when everything is so uncertain. It started being more than that when he came swimming with my daughter, me and some friends then stayed over longer to play with my daughter and watch movies without once asking for sex.
It seems to be going well and sometimes the best way to go is without defining things before both of you are ready. Believe me, he knows how you feel about him even without you saying a word to him.
You can initiate talks with him, that have nothing to do with hooking up. It seems to be too soon to talk about feelings and commitment but you sure seem to be heading that way. I have known my FWB for almost a year. We work together and became friends fairly quickly. Our personalities are very much the same both ambitious, go getters, strong minded, alphas.
Since the start of our friendship we talked abt my relationship at that point and his situation at that point. We also always tended to flirt and say challenging things to each other regarding how we would be in bed jokingly.
He was supportive and gave me advise. We never spoke about it or mentioned it even to this day. That night was the first night we actually had sex. It happened twice before we discussed what it meant. We both werent ready for a relationship and that we will continue sleeping together when we both need each other but, we want to maintain our friendship so whenever is no longer conducive for either one of us we will stop and remain friends this was what we discussed at that point.
I also have become very close to his sister. He always spends the night and cuddles. When we hang out with mutual friends we act as if we are a couple. His hands are on my thigh when we are sitting talking to our friends. We tease each other and play around. After we have sex the next day he always texts saying how great it was and things he loves the to do and vise versa. I feel the same way.
I recently have realized that I seriously like him and could see us having something more serious. I think about him all the time and want more. I have never been in this predicament before. I wonder what his up too or when he will come over this week. Something has got to give. Not necessarily a full blown relationship, maybe dating and see where it can go. What advise can you give me?
How should I go about talking to him?
Ugh, if only you could find someone like them but you know, not them. You go over to hook up but end up watching TV and eating pizza together. You fall asleep leaning on each other on the couch. You talk about them to your friends constantly — they just seem to keep coming up in conversation. You go out together to a party or bar, ostensibly to wingman for each other, but just end up going home together.
When they have an actual date or ask you for dating advice, you always find flaws with the new people or tell them they can do better. One of you has made the other a mix CD. You seek their approval about a new haircut or outfit. When one of you is upset, the other one is right there to comfort them and tell them how amazing they are and how anyone would be lucky to have them.
A new Thought Catalog series exploring our connection to each other, our food, and where it comes from. Reblogged this on Dancing Through Life. Reblogged this on serendipitybyink. Reblogged this on hope thru music and commented: No trace of him.
As if he had never existed. He had said to me 1 hour previous that he loved me, that next year we would get married. How our love was somehing he held dearly to him. He is now living back with his wife.
Who has no idea of him and his lies and deciet. I never had the heart to tell her. My heart breaking was enough. I have spoken to him once, when he told me that he did love me but he needed to make his marriage work, he had made a commitment and needed to stay loyal. So now, a few months on, I am struggling with my day to day life. Walking down the street, hearing a sound, smelling a familiar smell, and I am transorpted into a whirl wind of memories.
I have left work, my career, my life because i can not care to think of him. I have lost contact with many frends because it pains me to much to make the effort. That is one of the first times I have actually told the story. I hope i havent bored you all.
I know that distance thing, the excuses, the pain. I am so grateful I left. Reading your story and others just reinforces I did the right thing, in the end. I am so looking forward to the day I do not check my email, or phone to see if he contacted me, telling me he left his wife.
How self absorbed I am……. I do look forward to that day the heavy heart lifts. Hang in there, My heart goes out to you, I can only barely fathom what you are going through, not only your heart, your source of income, home, everything. I was thinking to myself earlier if he really loved me truly a road to hell pondering but, if he did, why or how could he??? Keep writing it helps, also, do not let Mr MM suck the life out of you, the best revenge is a good life.
I assure you, I am not. Been there and soooo done that! My MM left his wife…. It was more trouble than the actual affair. We give our hearts so freely to men who do not deserve them…..
Be your own best friend. What would you tell your best girlfriend to do in this situation????? That is what you absolutely MUST do for yourself. They use us for what they can get and when we get smart enough to start asking questions, they are all to ready to walk away! I wish all good things and most of all, peace to everyone reading or posting to this forum. My heart is with each and every one of you!!!! I have 2 ask…….. It was ultimately my decision. In the end, I realized that even though wifey was gone, thanks to divorce she was always there.
I was the outsider. I was the homewrecking whore. He shows her more consideration then he does me. All of this after learning that she has cheated on him, stolen from him, and lied to him about practically everything.
Finally, I guess I gave up. No one person is worth my own sanity. I waited 4 long years….. Hi Chasing, Thank you for your update. This is such a great posting site. I hope you stay strong, all of us, stay strong. Take care may joy fill your being, Gratitude. For all of the ladies who find themselves here…. We want to hear from you!
We are there to answer whatever questions or doubts you may have….. Just unbiased advice and support…. Hope to see all of you there….. Thank you so much for that comment. I know how you feel about waiting for the day when you dont check your mail or your phone. I still check now, even though I know there is no way on earth it happens. I think, he may still love me, if he ever did, love can not fade. But i guess the truth is that he never had any love to give only to take.
My fresh start is soon approaching. The thought that you are all also going through the same experiences as me kind of breaks my heart, because this pain is so bad i wouldnt wish it on anyone.
Wow, so glad to come across this. It was a very interesting meeting and we were really drawn to each other from the begining. I was very cool and careful not to show what was going on in my head. When I got home later that night he called me which I thought was very forward on his part as I think there was a commit made about my husband and I believe he knew I was married. When he called he said you are a very interesting women , but in a very tender almost shy way.
Now when I think about it that just sounds like a come on line, but somehow every word he said made me feel special. Now let me explain I get a lot of interest from men but never has any man ever touched that part of me that he did and does. It is like a spritual connection and he says the same thing its like we really know each other.
He really got in me and in my head. I really fell hard for him. Before I met the other man in the car on our way out to his business I looked up at the clouds was thinking of my miserible situation with my husband and prayed God I just want to be with someone who really understands me and loves me for who I am the way I am, and someone that I really just get who they are.
This all continued with me even trying to break it off but then when he came to see me all my resolve went out the window, theres this magic when we look in each others eyes. Anyway, we flirted and talked about sex for a couple of months.
I did ask him about the other women he told me she was a 4 and half year long distance relationship that he could not see a future with.
He sees her every couple months when he goes out on business. He made me feel like I was the only one and funny thing is I know what he says is really true but then again its only words not actions. See I have been intimate with only two other men in my life and both of them I was married to. I need a lot of security and commitment to be happy in an intimate realionship. Its just the way I am. I so wanted my fantasy to be true that we were soul mates and had found each other.
We had sex several more times and it was fabulous as we became more comfortable. My husband came home from a vacation with our son and asked about my friend the other man He knew we had sex he just felt it in his gut. So I told him the truth because we always had an greement that we would tell each other if there was ever anyone else.
He was hurt but took it as a wake up call on our relationship. He began to really romance me, wanted to talk, said he wanted to grow old with me, I was very confused so after about two weeks of all the mental anguish I could take I broke it off with the OM and told him I needed his friendship, He said anything you want and if you need me to just disapear please just tell me.
I said no but in my heart I thougt maybe that would be best. I really wanted to try to make things work with my husband but It was so hard.
I had changed so much. Any way this is my introduction, thankyou for this outlet, I will post a very short—I promise—ending to this later Veranda. Hey, Just thought i would tell everyone. I walked into town today! I was so proud i had to come and tell you all. Having somewhere to know that there is soneone out there knowing how i feel made me able to come and do this. Glad to know you are doing well hang on in there every day will get better beleive me I have been there it was agony at the begining but now I feel that I have my life back ofcourse it is dissapointing things has not been the way we want them to be but again ,it is definetly for the best.
Stay strong , stay always proud. Lots of love Fortuna. Why do men who are moving out because of wife nonsense moving on their own and not interested in moving in with the OW? I have friends for support, but their answer is to walk away now if it hurts that much.
As far as I can judge he is responsible for most of the child-care, so his departure would have a great impact on her life. I called it quits, 2 months in, married, not for me. My heart is still hurting, but staying open, reaching out and giving to others , not collapsing inside too much, but also feeling everything. I miss what I thought we were going to have, but grateful to have been opened to love, it had been years since I had felt so loved.
Walking away was the hardest thing, but I know for me, the healthiest and most loving thing, for me and for him. I wish you the best, glad you found this site, it is so healing knowing we are not alone. I met my MM 3 years ago at work. At the time I was still married yet separated in separate bedrooms for the previous 6 years. Yeah, I had alot of truble getting out of this emotionally abusive marriage.
And when I met MM, he was so sweet and friendly. It made my going home at night bearable because I could think of MM. First he and I became friends. We went to lunch a couple of times a week. We took walks during our lunch break. In the beginning he complained about his wife and that he wanted to leave her.
He said he was in a separate bedroom as well. I told him my situation and things progressed. We were sneaking kisses, and hugs. He seemed to really like me and I started falling for him. During the next 2 years, we were still intimate. He was still married and told me he was concerned about his kids if he divorced.
I on the other hand had gathered my strength to start the legal separation at home. During the 3rd year, the house was sold, I moved into my own place, and I had a very sick child to take care of. The 3rd year was hell for me in my personal life with all these things going on and I was not as affectionate or tuned into MM as I had been during the first 2 years. I still had deep feelings for MM but I was beginning to get discouraged with him since he wasnt preparing to leave his wife.
As time went on, he told me about family trips…………what the hell…….. Oh but he was sleeping in a different bed. I believed him but still going on family trips when you didnt care much for your wife. Actually in the beginning, he told me his wife didnt like sex and they hadnt done IT for years. Anyway, as I tell it now………the writing is clear as day. So as the year progressed and I was under alot of stress, I did begin to tell him perhaps he should see other women.
What was I thinking? In a way, my mind knew he was staying in his marriage so I wanted to push him away but in my heart I wanted him to stay true to me. In the meantime, we were slightly intimate……only an occasional kiss or hug but I thought it was enough to let him know I still cared. Well, months down the road, he announced to me that he had just spent the weekend with a woman that he recently started dating.
Of course I did get angry with him and then he used the lame excuse that I pushed him to date. I told him I was hurt and that I still had deep feelings for him. That week, we tried to see if the original affection and attraction was still there. By the end of the week, I asked him if he was still going to continue to see this other woman………..
He doesnt understand why I want to break off our relationship. He wants both of us. I am not a second class citizen and I refuse to be the other woman anymore, let alone the OOW. Anyway, its only been a couple of days since our last contact, an IM. I have deleted his phone number.
I have blocked his IMs. My biggest problem will be not looking at him if we should cross paths at work. For the rest of you out there with a MM.
I made a big mistake in getting hooked up with a MM and I will never loose my dignity and self-respect like this again. I am too good for creeps like him. Find someone to confide in, it really helps alot. I am coming up on week 3…….. Welcome to this great site, xxxx Gratitude. Not even a joint house.. Made me believe it: Basically I thought this man was the One! Life is for Living…and its short!! OMG, reading your posts was like listening to myself talk. I can identify with what many of you are feeling.
I have a slightly different story though. My MM was my college best friend before we fell in love but I broke his heart. We realized we still loved each other and he said he was already contemplating leaving his wife so we started the affair.
It took a toll on my self-esteem. My life was a mess. And what do you know, he was the one who dumped me. Until the end he said he still loves me. Not a peep from him. It still hurts a lot. My heart is broken and my ego is bruised. Baby steps to healing…. Hugs to you girls. We all deserve better. Thanks for sharing your stories. Dear Sad Girl, Oh my stomach and heart clenched reading your note.
Thank you for sending and sharing. My MM said ALL of the same things, timing, right thing, all these things that at first seemed so reasonably noble………. Many Blessings xoxox My reminder to self, no one can take my self, my love, my worth away, or give it to me in the first place, it feels that way. I wish I can be ready to do the same soon. Hi to Gratitude, Hi to sad girl. I wish you could very very soon change your screen name no matter how sad or lonely you feel you must find a name to get you out of this state of mind as such description will stop you moving on forgive me to point it out but i care , since I had been in this sad situation not so long ago and I felt the days and the weeks were dragging because of my sadness and the ungreatfulness of the MM I am counting my blessing today inspite of the hard time I have been through.
My life is back to me only, I am in control of it no one else, my peace is so sacret I will never ever let anyone take it from me no matter what I realised I am far better today in my confidence and self esteem , that experience tought me a lot as much as I regret it I appreciate it today at least I will not let anyone step over my foot again.
I am living my futur now instead of waiting for it ,I have waisted so much energy and time on unworthy person I am far better than that. I too have learned so much about my self through all this……. Hello ladies, Everyone of you are so inspiring to me. That was really difficult not to send out those last thoughts to him. No matter how hard he tries, there will be no more lunches or walks at work. Working for the same company will hopefully make it tough on him to see me around campus.
Stay strong dont let him win over you, ou can make it girl you are doing well so far and you are not vindictiv what you are going through is very normal dont be too hard on yourself , in my view Mystery is the best weapon to make a man regret loosing you keep silence and dont give him the satisfaction of finding out what you are up to ,you are not alone we all here to support you this site is a blessing and it was a great help for me I claiemd my life back and I am soin charge of my life now hope you will have the same peace of mind.
I just ended it with my MM after five months… I did this last week. My MM spent a lot of time with me. He made me feel like a priority. We went out in public; our relationship was hardly a secret. All of his friends knew about me. And then, the idea that he was married started to become more and more unbearable. As consolation, he began informing me that he hardly spent any time with his wife anymore, that they barely even talked, because he was always with me.
Towards the end we were together almost every single day. Obviously this began to hold less and less water the longer time went by. A friend told me that my MM would never in a million years admit if he was, but it turns out he was wrong.
Upon confronting him, the day before our five-month anniversary, my MM admitted that he had slept with her just this past weekend. Over the past month, our relationship had truly begun to bloom.
The way he was talking to me had changed; he was being so tender, so amorous. I truly believed that our future was a sure thing. We had begun to tak of how we would make our future work. Horrified, I began recounting the details of that past weekend. Just the night before, he had called me sounding miserable, telling me he missed me. When I got home I saw that he had emailed me that I was his drug. I would have never in a million years imagined that sandwiched in between all of this, he was screwing his wife.
He truly had convinced me that he understood this fear and pain, that we shared it. He had essentially tricked me into being faithful to him. He really saw it as no big deal. But my heart had died. I had never known a pain like that in my life.
I knew I could not go one more day with my MM. I texted his wife that he had been cheating on her with me, and forwarded to her the juiciest, most incriminating emails my MM had written to me.
He was in complete shock that I had done it. I figured I would never hear from him again. That was the hardest part. Everything reminded me of him. Some shoes that I had ordered to wear to an upcoming party with him had arrived in the mail. I obsessed over what he was doing, what was happening in his life now.
I missed seeing his emails to me in the morning, his calls on my mobile… I missed his voice… I wanted to throw myself at his feet and beg him to make the pain stop….
By Monday, day 6, I was considerably better. I had spent the weekend with my ex, and we had booked a trip to Disney World. I was determined to heal and move ahead.
I had come up with a decent sized mental list as to why I was so much better off without my MM. And then that day at noon, he called me.
My heart almost stopped. There he was, sporadically sobbing, meekly telling me how much he had missed me. He and his wife had decided to split up; they were separating their bank accounts and looking for a realtor to sell their apartment. He had told his wife that he loved me. Three days later yesterday , we came to blows yet again. He had been trying to convince me that he was absolutely clueless that I would be so devastated by his sleeping with his wife.
I had begun to accept it, but then went searching through some of my old emails and there it was: When I became angry he blew up, screaming that this, all of this, even being with me, had been a huge mistake. This morning, in possibly the lamest move ever, he emailed me, with a copy to his wife, telling me again that this had been a mistake, making it seem like he had been with me for just sex, and claiming that I was an insignificant nothing compared to his wife, and to never contact him again.
It set me back a few days damage-wise, but oh well… at the end, I am still free. I can see now that I was depressed the entire time I was with him. Without even realizing it, I was walking on pins trying to be perfect in every way for him. My work and schoolwork had suffered, and he had alienated me from my friends.
He had taken up most of my spare time. It hurts not being with him anymore, but the pain of knowing he was not solely with me was much worse.
But what would that take? I will move on quickly, and he will be left to contend with the ruins of his life. At times I feel like I miss him, but then I realize I miss the mirage… the beautiful mirage that he loved me in the way I thought he did, not in the selfish way he truly did….
Dear See, Your life with your MM had some similarities to mine. I understand how you feel about feeling betrayed that the MM slept with someone else. In my case it was another woman, not the wife. When he told me about his overnighting it with a woman he started dating, my heart felt like it stopped beating.
You and I are both better off. We deserve better and I know women like us who have been fooled by these MM will find someone we can truly love and have a total relationship with. Every day is a gift! I should pick out a new name for my new attitude and status. Kudos to you girl for staying strong through your heart ache. Let him see what he gave up…and will never get back again. My heart goes out to you. I was devastated too when my exMM admitted he was still intimate with his wife.
Good thing it was a wake up call for you. I was so naive to think it came with the territory. But it eroded my self-esteem and brought in doubts. And then ultimately he chose to stay with her. I know that he not only broke your heart but trampled upon your ego. What your MM did is simply horrible…what an a—hole. Meanwhile stay healthy and strong. I was meant to send you this message long time ago to thank you for this great site for your great effort you have put to make it so successful.
I am ever so greatful you have helped me a great deal it made a huge difference into my life now and later you gave me the courage to stand up for myself and get rid of the nasty old pattern I was living in. Thank you again if there is anything I can do to make this sit a success, do not hesitate to contact me on my private email you have. God bless you lots of love Fortuna. Dear Still Standing strong , Fortuna, Love the new name, it is amazing what a name can do for you.
You and I are both on week 5………… it is getting easier. Just walking through the fear of doing this is a big win. Blessings to all you ladies, I can not begin to tell you how much reading your stories has helped me, you have given strength to me beyond measure. Hang lovingly strong, Gratitude. Best of luck to you both on the competition and the date. Remember girls, we are winners for taking charge of our lives.
We will get through this wiser and stronger. I will now get to compete in San Francisco, and depending on how that goes, fly to Greece and rep, USA in the international comp. Thank you, all of you for all your support. Stay strong Most wonderful blessings to all of you, Gratitude.
Gratitude, what fantastic news! Good luck as you continue this new journey. You ar certainly an inspiration to me since I am a year older than you. I will join that health club tomorrow and get that man outta my head once and for all.
He cones back to work tomorrow after being on a 2 week vacation. I hope I can stay strong and not show any emotions if we should cross paths. What do I do if he wants to talk to me?
What if he wants to be just friends? How many of you have been able to revert to being just a friend with an exMM? I would not take the bait, they know how to sink the hook and reel us back in until enough time goes by. The very best revenge, a life beautifully lived, blessed by friends, and a heart that is not shut down to the beauty in this world.
Prayers to ya, polite and strong, Cheers, Gratitude. What a great way to move on. Let us know what happens in SF. I would suggest avoid any contact. If he approaches you, try to be civil but aloof.
Sorry for the late reply but I wanted to say thank you for your lovely comment of thanks. It is very much appreciated! I am glad that I have been able to help you and just know that no matter how hard things seems sometimes, have faith in the certainty that if you remain true to yourself and put yourself and your needs first, things will get better.
Take care and stay cool NML X. Hey Osprey, How did it go at work? I pray you were feeling strong, lovely, wonderful, beautiful. Still Standing, Thank you!!!!
It is a wonderful feeling of not allowing HIM to rule my life, and how I did, he took up residence in my brain……… I have had a few great days, tonight though, that familiar ache crept in, so I am writing to you ladies that so understand. Good on you for the back to the gym and weight loss, yea! She helped me come to my senses and end it. Now she seems to have become my judge and jury………. Just have to surrender it, love her through the pain of loss, oh my heart.
Many congratulation MISS BIKINI I bet a lot of girls were jealous of you , YOU did it girl because you stood up for youself and because you deserve it and no man ever should treat you 2nd best good luck on your dating hope you will find the person who deserves you you are done with compromise it is their turn.
My life is going so well I am on top of things I feel I can really say positive things on this site keep us posted about your dates. The best therepy is the Gym you will be surprised how this kind of activities will change your life i am talking from personel experience.
Once you start going to the gym you will feel on top of things inspite of any dificulties. Glad to see you living up to your name just to tell you I love reading the development of each of the ladies out of support and inspirment, you seem in control and happier stay strong I get my strength every day by reading how well we are all doing.
So sorry to hear you and your best friend drifted apart. You need her beside you now more than ever. I wish you can work it out.
I must admit there are still days when I feel the blues but they are less intense now and easier to push away. All the support and encouragement from the ladies here really hastened my healing. Hello Gratitude, After 3 days of him coming back from vacation, the dreaded email arrived. His email sounds happy and he wants to get together tomorrow or Friday probably to tell me all about his trip. Has he forgotten all the pain from the IMs and emails that went back and forth before he left?
Is he oblivious or stupid? What am I dealing with here? I deleted the email without responding. She just needs time to work it out in her mind. Thank you ladies for all your love and support. Be strong, polite and beautiful………. Love to all of you, and yes, having my friend bail on me……..
Again , I am so grateful 4 this site and to ALL of you. Take care xoxoxo Gratitude. Hi Ladies, Today is my birthday…….. Did not hear from my friend? It has been 6 weeks today that I said goodbye. Thank you for keeping me strong, feeling weak today. Hope all of you are hanging strong and beautiful. Hang in there, sweetie. Week 6 for me and missing him too. We all have our days.
I know how you feel. Hi Still Standing, Thank you. This is a hard day. I so want to text him, tell him I miss him. SO I am writing all of you who understand. My friend has gotten nasty and strange……… I do not know what is going on still. A mutual friend said it was her and her stuff…….. Makes it that much harder not contacting HIM….. Prayer and other friends, all of you who are so gracious and loving. Osprey, How is it going with you?
Still Standing, hope you are having a better non missing him day.. Happy Birthday many happy returns stay strong dont even suggest to yourself that you are missing him the danger in the power of suggestion is damaging to your subconscience please be careful in occasions like birthdays christmas and so on makes it difficcult dont even go there , you were doing well you are doing well you will be doing better good luck to you.
Girls stay strong you have managed so far you are doing great you have so much to look forward to dont let MM contaminate your life and future you good life is to live it wellnot to let assholes have powers over you you are in charge now ,stay in charge. Hi Fortuna, Thank you and Happy Birthday to you!!
You are so correct, holiday times…….. Oh my it has been a hard day not to text him. Thank you for all the wisdom. I so appreciate it, I am clearly not thinking clearly at the moment………. Cause I am hurting. SO, I write all of you. Blessings to all of you, Gratitude. I can see you are hurting have you forgoten how pretty you are?
Dear Fortuna, You are so wonderful. Thank you for your wisdom. It is a hard time, having my friend turn on me is hard. I have other friends saying the same as you, and that it is more about her…….. Yes, it is the realities of life. This site is a soul saver. I have been involved with a married man for three years.
He finally got caught, not with me but with evidence that someone has been calling his home. Since that time, they have talked and he changed the frequency of his visits and cut down on the gifts. I have been away for a few months, cam back for three and he finally warmed back up to me and started sharing how he felt and seeing me more often. I left again and returned after 4 mos and he saw me often but for shorter periods of time. I missed my flight and he saw me very briefly.
I am home for a few days and will not see him for 7 mos. I tell myself and go through the motions of breaking up and then the pain hits me. All I want to do is be held by him and comforted. I am begging now for him to see me but did nothing but think of him and how wonderful the sex, talking, and sharing has been.
He is the most perfect man for me with the big exception, he does not want to get a divorce. When I think of this, I feel used and when I confronted him about it, he saids we used each other. While knew of his marital status, I enjoyed the treated the excitement and wanted more. Well, I am a little sick of me that I let myself be manipulated. But I guess that is my personality flaw I must work on.
Not real sure what to do beside reduce my emotions for him enjoy the 7 month break and cultivate this relationship with a man who wants to marry me. Glad this site is out here, did not know so many woman like me exist. You are in such a tough situation. Not only are you in love with this man but you have been with him for 3 years and he does not want a divorce?? I can not imagine how hard that must be for you.
I have been with my MM for over a year now but he has told me from day 1 that his plan is to get a divorce, so atleast I have that, but that still does not make it any easier being the OW. Can I ask you, did he tell you that he would never divorce his W from Day 1 or is that a recent development?? Since you know that you will not see him for 7 months and he is not willing to give you what you desire, I would say now is the perfect chance to make that clean break and move on from him.
He will stay with you as long as he can, you need to be the one to distance yourself from him. Right now he has the best of both worlds. OR, if you love him enough and can handle the way things are, then be with him and try and make it work. There is a chance someday he might change his mind, you never know really. All you can do is hope.
You know what is right for you and we on this site will be here for you to offer any advice we can to you. I was also amazed at how many women are like us and how many OW there are! I once had to use this sight to help me get over my MM. It helped out a great deal. Now I hope what I can share will help others. My MM and I were together for 2 yrs. I now have had no contact with him in 7 months. First months were a challenge and difficult but now I look back at my 2 yrs with my MM not wearing my rose colored glasses any more.
I was so in love with him. As he said, we were soul mates. He was very romantic, adoring affectionate and very in tuned with me.
When my MM and I first met he told me he was divorced. I believed him because he was not living at home. He had a roommate. We seen each other several times a week and shared major holidays together. Then about 4 months into our special loving relationship I get a phone call from wife. Well, during the rest of our relationship after finding out about wife he always told me he was getting a divorce.
I shared once before in another posting he went as far as getting me a diamond ring and house. He said he wanted to divorce her because. They never talked any more, she never understood him, their sex was terrible or non existent, she spent to much time with the kids not with him you know the drill. His dad, his son and his wife all told me that he wanted to be with me. I was told this for 1 yr then that went to 2 yrs.
I never pushed for it, never told him to leave, I understood about how his children would get hurt. I never dated anyone because I was in love with him. But now I look back on his marriage. I think gosh how lucky I was that I did not marry him. He is a cheater. If he could not be up front with his wife of 15 yrs about things and run from them to be with another woman. How would he be with me. In a sense I was letting him cheat on me knowing he would go back to wife.
Now the no contact has been a life saver. I am back to my true self. I am taking back the years I wore rose colored glasses. I made myself look at situation for what it truly is not for what he told me and made me believe.
Then I made the choice to stay away. This allowed time for me to see it for what it really was. A man, though very special to me at one time was hurting someone he made vows to. How could I let myself fall so low for a man who could do that?
She knew he was in love with me she told me. She told me more then once. The last few months of my MM relationship she said she was going to fight for him and save her marriage.
I am glad she fought for him. Because she was the stronger one who stayed or is the more naive of the two of us. I got tired of him cheating on me. Even though he said they never slept together. He was still married. I got tired of my life in limbo. I felt distant from who I am. My job requires attention to patients and that started to slip. I felt like I was on some drawn out soap opera. It was a tuff few months of letting go.
But I am so worth it. My life is better then before. My eyes are now wide open. I worry about some on here. I thank all the woman who have been such a great source of strength when I had what felt like none. I pray 1, if another MM strolls in I run for the hills, but more important than that, I will not attract a MM in my world again.
Seems like the 7 months away from HIM is a gift, I pray you receive it as such and stay strong, as painful as that can be. Stay strong, you are so worth it xoxox, gratitude.
I finally sent an e-mail out to him, telling him I deserve better than being kept a secret. He will not divorce his wifey, and I do not have time to cry over him. I lost myself when I was with him, I only thought about the short term happiness I had while with him, and disregarded the hurt and pain I had when he was unavailable.
I dony know if anyone remembers my story but I was the one who lost my job and friends because of my relationship, some through choice and some through never being able to go back there. Anyway I recently began going out once or twice a week to a pub with the girls, and each day same day every week this one man has been there, a little older then me but never the less. Anyway we began talking and all of a sudden he has become part of our clang, although spending most his time with me.
My friends not caring as they were happy to see me having some male contact for the first time in so long. Anyway I found out earlier today that he is yet again another married man. What do I do? I mean his wife has cancer, and I dont think she is doing to well. Help would be appreicated. I think we are given lessons, situations in our life that WE can choose to learn from, grow from, not repeat, OR not.
The last thing i set out to do is find all these married men. He just seemed so genuine, he really seemed like he would be the one after the one.
Rarely a married man really is in bad position to change his relations, and interesred in re-begin with another woman. Sometimes, the most times, what the great part want, is a woman to serve him and give him sex pleasure, and no more. From my observations I noted that a lot of number does not respect a woman like a person, and only look for his pleasure object. You still will find someone single, not involved with another woman, which will make you happy.
MC I agree with Jorge. Plus, you know what the heck! His wife is seriously ill and he is talking with girls in a bar. Do you really want to be with someone who can be such a Jerk! If I was married and I was dying or very ill I hope he would be home helping around the house being there for me not trying to get laid or hook up with a girl before I die. MC you really need to take a closer look at that. Seems as if one minor set back would have him running for a new girl.
Would you want that to happen to you. Do you really feel as if a man would complete your life right now. Like Jorge said take time for you. Do things for yourself. Try volunteer work too besides being with your friends. Get to know how awesome you are and you deserve better. Way better then a jerk like this man. I am not trying to be mean but dont be little yourself. Oh one more thing. I understand about the sign thing.
I like Married Men sign. The sucky thing about married men. How they work is they agree pretty much with everything you say. They seem to be so sweet kind and understanding. They will say pretty much anything to sleep with you. Its hard to differ them from a genuine man trying to really get to know you. I dont think there is anything wrong with being yourself when you meet a new man.
You dont want change that. Always stay true to who you are. Sad sorry thing is just becareful. If you find out. Someday a honest loving man will be there. I seem to find married men too. Maybe we have been there before and now we just can tell who they are now? I am on the fence, I have been seeing this guy for almost 8 yrs.
I am truly in love for the first time in my life everything is great BUT of course you all know what is coming next… He is married.
But unless you have an open marriage then I don't see what you were . “Friends with benefits” They call it. That is not LL's fault, lol, and trying to blame it on them is ridiculous. .. My SL man and I were friends for forever, and talked about our .. If you are married you should NOT be taking anything RL. Stuff like "you'll never find a boyfriend that way" and "that won't FWB arrangements were perfect for me for a while. But then the next day, when I can still smell him on my sheets and on my . They're right, he does suck but he's good as an in-between-boyfriends fling because of how much he sucks lol. Read Next: Why Married Women Should Not Have Male Friends. 2. You Don't When you choose to be close friends with a man, you don't experience those dilemmas. It's easy to start . Head covering Christian woman who loves good coffee and stinky cheese. My favorite Not good (bad heart, bad heart! lol). Even as a.