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My husband is a great guy. He bends over backwards for people all the time and genuinely cares about people in general. I can say with the most sincere honesty that he would do anything for me- and he has.

Lets call him Will. To put a long story short, I moved a town over and we slowly drifted apart. Then I met my husband and we dated for 3 years before getting married and I never thought of Will during that time.

Why am I feeling like this? More importantly, why am I feeling like this when I have such a great husband who used to make me feel the same way? All kinds of thoughts are swirling through my head like did I marry the wrong person? Am I a bad person for feeling like this? I really need some advice here.

What does it all mean? I think all long term relationships go through ups and downs. There are periods that are really fun, that are monotonous, and that are downright awful. New relationships are exciting and passionate and give us feelings that can get lost and forgotten as time goes on.

I suggest doing new things with your husband to keep the passion and excitement alive. Disover new things together, have new experiences, and enjoy each other like you did when you first met. Things like that can fall to the wayside after marriage when they used to be priorities.

You need to figure out what that is. Did you used to go on more date nights? Did you used to have sex more? Talk about things other than work?

Wow thank you for the reply. I never thought of Will as representing the unknown but that makes a great deal of sense to me. These feelings are so uncomfortable and make me feel awful inside.

Your response really hit home for me. I just want these feelings to go away and never come back. Every love song on the radio or romantic movie reminds of me Will instead of my husband. If you want this thoughts to stop, you need to make some changes. Be drastic, delete your facebook account if necessary. Find the triggers for this thoughts and eliminate them from the root. Focus in your hubby, remember how lucky you are to have him everyday, and live everyday trying to make him as special as he makes you feel.

There is no way that you are in love with Will in any way, shape or form. I agree with everyone else that he just represents a link to your past and the unknown.

If he had really been a guy you were in love with you would have thought about him in that period. In my mind that would include either blocking Will on facebook or deleting him. It would include little date nights where you cook for one another, write soppy notes, watch favorite movies. Anything that reminds you of the whirlwind of first dating. After four years together and distance!! My best friend ended up talking me through it. Family is huge for me and this thought just kind of killed the crush.

I went through this as well. He was alot more passionate about his craft and life back then and I was very attracted to that. He used to also create music and would spend weekends writing and producing, and I admired his drive.

He would talk so passionately about cameras, etc and he is such a hard worker. I would think about him ALL the time, it was ridiculous. Once I realized this, I began to start generating projects and dedicating myself to my work. I also sat my hubby down and told him how I felt that he was basically turning into a zombie by just escaping and watching TV as soon as he came home from work and playing video games all weekend.

This is something he said he never wanted to become, and we just had to regroup. People do not recognise that the intense all encompassing love will pass, and they fail to embrace this new kind of love that is actually so much more beautiful than the first kind.

But your memory of Will ends with that intense kind of love. What you need to realise is that you did marry the right person, because the right person is someone who is and will do everything that you described about your Darling Husband. The right person is someone who will be all those amazing things your husband is even after the honeymoon period, even after the intense love has passed. You married the right man because even after feelings of intense passion have passed, he is still loving and caring for you the same as, if not more than, the moment you were newlyweds.

Marriage is spending the rest of your life with one person! But if you have as the foundation of your relationship, the principle that marriage is forever, and you will continuously try to renew your marriage, it will succeed. If we chase after passionate love, we will be searching our whole lives.

If we embrace the friendship that is born from passionate love, we will be happy for the rest of our lives. You are not alone and you are not a bad person or wife to your hubby. Even in great relationships there are obstacles!

Do you have any best friends or siblings that you love but get into tiffs with? I had a similar situation…. I was with someone and I broke up with them because of family influences…. And when I finally found him on social media my life felt broken!!! I think I was just feeling guilty about how I loved him but never told him.

We chatted once on I. M and it was like talking to a wall. There was nothing there. My 18 year old self is very different than who I am right now. Find support, ask questions, swap stories, and follow brides planning real weddings here on Weddingbee. Closed Feelings for another guy but I'm married. Thank you for reading. Hope is not lost here. It just takes some work to find! AnaA 5 years ago Wedding: May If you want this thoughts to stop, you need to make some changes.

LadyLuna 5 years ago I went through this as well. GirlFromOz 5 years ago Wedding: You said it yourself, you still love your husband but that love has evolved! You have done nothing wrong to anything to be ashamed of. Get the best wedding inspiration, advice, and more from Weddingbee. I agree to receive emails from the site. I can withdraw my consent at any time by unsubscribing. I'd like to receive news and offers via e-mail. About Advertise Cookie Policy Terms.

I'm engaged but have feelings for another guy - Lifestyle

As of , six books have been released about the Family Guy universe, all published by HarperCollins since Written in the style of a graphic novel , the plot follows Stewie's plans to rule the world. Family Guy has been commercially successful in the home market.

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We did this for years, and we wanted to be together but it was never good timing. Whether he or she was in a relationship we would still sleep together if we were in the area. We are bother in relationships and once again made it happen. I have a strange love for him. We have been doing this on and off for 15 years. Hit the nail on the head. And this is coming from a woman.

Sometimes you need to find out a way to spend your time that actually makes you happy a team at a local rec center or whatever is your cup of tea instead of literally wasting looking for problems in your relationship.

Happy people attract other people. Nina I am 35 yo girl dating the 40 yo successful doctor. We had great times, finally made love. I also refused to have sex with him. The next morning he became cold and distance and kicked me out from the apartment we rented, his PA told me that he needs to go to Singapore to attend a meeting and I better leave cause they want to finish some work before going to the airport.

Before I left, I apologized directly to his PA about what happened when I was drunk and also apoloflgized to him for pushing him away when he tried to have sex with me while I was drunk. Shortly after I go I sent him long messages to thank him for a memorable birthday and the effort he made to fly from San Fransisco to Jakarta to visit me, I also apologized for my attitude when I was drunk.

This is the first time I made mistake and for the whole 10 months during our Long distance I showed him I am no drama queen, I am strong, independent and have qualities he needs in a partner. I show him that I mean it when I said I want to give him space he needs.

Do you think I still have a chance with him? I read the article and some of the posts there and I have a few things that came up to my mind. First of not all women feel as privileged to compete for the attention of a nice guy.

Some women are not as competitive on a beauty scale,but I believe every person has something special to offer another person. If the guy she falls for uses her and trows her in the bin like a disposable napkin it can make every girl feel bad. He is looking for a diamond in the rough, for profound connection but if a man has sex with a woman knowing she is not that girl than he is absolutely not worth pursuing.

Man always seem to want sex first. What I noticed is that man and women are looking for a mutual benefit in the western world mostly economical or does she look pretty enough to walk next to me.

Very superficial and shallow. I try not to take it personal if a man dumps me after sex because I know I am loving, sexual, caring intelligent ,fun and exciting and have a great personality in the right type of relationships. I personally have been out with man who i know I can roll drunk on the street and he will take care of me! This is the real type of guys i am talking about , the others are not strong enough, confident enough and need extra reassurance, put conditions on love , where love and sex should be unconditional unrestricted and man have to be gentleman and not excuse themselves with her not being a good enough catch.

The thing is he told me he doesnt love me anymore, and I think its true because why should you say something cruel to someone who would give up everything for you. We had the most romantic lovestory ever and nobody can believe its over. He cant wait longer than 20 minutes and need to kiss me, he reach out to take my hand, he make all the moves.

We also had sex together, often and after the sex he would be cold to me. We fight, we see us,fight, everything is okay, we have sex and boom he would not contact me for 2 days. I would bomb him with messages how rude he is and he would answer short and cold, like he did it just because of sex. Now I told him we could be only friends, and that I dont want to sleep with him anymore.

What I totally dont understand because we dont see us often and we dont talk much. I have no clue whats going on with him, he also told me he cant show me emotions because he has no emotions.

I would appreciate your help, does he only wanted sex from me and was cute because of that and now when he said he dont want to sleep with me anymore and that he needs space, he just dont want me anymore? He gave me the best feeling ever I just cant believe he is so cold and rude to me when I was the only thing he wanted and now.. Probably, learn how to spell correctly — communicate intelligently — and not sleep with a guy so soon — or not at all.

Thank you for your words. Your articles have given me so e things to think about and bring into my life to create a more meaningful life for myself instead a guy. A fling after a few drunken evening dates is one thing, we kind of all know what that means, though women often regret it they do understand nothing was invested or promised and they know to live and learn from that.

Guilt can make us behave in crappy ways. Men with a conscience won;t indulge this by leading her along, but loads will. Please help me here. I know I might be a high maintenance being a single mom with kids and not very financially stable. I am automatically disqualified to feel like a good catch but playing the give him space game is lame. I want to be myself. I wrote my opinion above, I think most man will screw a woman knowing she is not the one, yet lie to her.

Never even kissed or held hands. Next day I made a comment projecting my trust issues. He pretty expressed how upset it made him and ignored my calls and some text. Eventually we agreed to take a weeks break. I feel completely used. It feels horrible, to have had such a connection with him to then not have a normal conversation for days now.

Is he being too hard on me? Or is he right for behaving this way. Let me break it down.. We met at a show exchanged social media we talked here and there it was nothing till one night we both started to flirt I gave him my number he texted me right away..

We texted for over a month all day and night flirted sexted or what not.. We tried to get together both of our schedule was hectic.. We talked about both of us not wanting anything just to have fun. So anyway we finally got together he grabbed me n kissed me n went home I texted him n said I had fun he said me too then we hang out again he came over I cooked he cleaned we watched movies made out then went to a hockey game we went back home we made out n we had sex..

We texted but he would give me one word answer.. He went one kept saying we should strictly be friends so after the I acted like we were friends he would ignore me.. What the hell happened? Since it was romantic? Did we play house? We did acted like we were couPle we were caressing each other leaning on him kissing my forehead.. What can I do? So did he get scared or anything.. Why do you always suggest girls to play it cool when guys are withdrawing?

From a girls point of view, we become very attached and want to be held comforted assured after we have opened up emotionally to a guy.

So it is natural for us to feel the insecurity when they withdraw. The thing is even we cannot control the anxiety of being left alone and act cool in front of them when u all want is to hug him and feel his warmth around you.

Nobody, man or woman, wants to bring people into their life who adds to their burden of living…. Actually, this is very true. Self love, self care. Love that we seek from someone else should be within is us. People treat us the way we allow them. Thank you for good advice. I had a friend who was talking to this guy and at some point down the line he wanted to have sex with her. She told him that she would absolutely not have sex with him until they were in an exclusive relationship.

She still did other things like visit him at his house and watch movies with him. She would still sleep at his house sometimes. This went on for about a year she said. She kept demanding that she would not have sex with him until she was his girlfriend. So, one day after about a year he asked her to be his girlfriend. They had sex like the next day. She was called me crying and distraught. The next day he told her that he still wanted to be with her but not in a relationship.

He ended up stringing her a long for 3 years without ever actually getting back in an exclusive relationship. The sex was good and she really liked him so she stayed. He turned out to be the most disrespectful man ever and he was abusive as well.

She had the idea that withholding sex would lead to him respecting her in the long run. She forgot to withhold all the other benefits that come with having a girlfriend.

Really help me to control my emotion indirectly.. Eric, does this apply to men in an affair, too? Do you think men in an affair with a woman automatically loses respect for the woman and withdraws? I ask this here in your blog because I find you as an honest, respectful, and realistic man blogger. He withdraws every time sex or just hanging out but keeps inviting me back…. I get so confused and feel like he regrets seeing me by the look on his face.

Let it be… give them space to be human… everyone including you and me needs to sort out their internal world… nobody can do it for someone else.

It has nothing to do with you. Thank you for this. My situation is somewhat similar. While my husband and I were recently separated, I started chatting on fb who is recently divorced. He cheated on his wife I know, red flag, right? He seemed to get very jealous and asked why my partners car was in my driveway, etc. I went over to his place one night and he did not make any moves but he was checking me out big time. We were both waiting to see who would make the first move.

He has asked me what I wanted from him and I told him just casual sex. Almost 2 weeks ago, we set a date to hook up and went to his place. We didnt have a lot of time since I had to go and pick up my kids later that day. He jumped on me and we started making out and then brought me upstairs.

He kept saying how this was a lot of pressure for him he had told me he sometimes had problems getting it up. We quickly got naked and he kept repeating it was too much pressure. I asked him if I could do anything or if he wanted to stop. He kept saying how he warned me that this would happen and then turned me on my stomach and jerked off on my back.

After that, I started making out with him and kissed him goodbye and left. I later wrote him and he wrote back saying that often fantasies and reality is not the same thing.

Were you not attracted to me? And that was it. He hasnt responded to my messages asking to see him again he hasnt even looked at them. I have a feeling that he is feeling guilt and humiliated. What should I do? Not talk to him anymore? I am so sad and confused. Are you a lesbian? The third date mandatory sex screams not is alright with person giving advice. Yes we all fall into certain pitfalls, not everybody wants to cuddle after coupling, even with the perfect mate. No… you are just bad at reading and comprehenaion.

Eric is making fun of the idea of mandatory sex on date 3 as one of the many stupid ideas from the book, The Rules. My boyfriend is in Iraq he keeps asking me to send him something that will remind him of me and that smells like me.

I have no idea what to send to him. Thank you for your honest advice. Truth hurts, but it is best. Eric, you helped me so much. Because of you my life changed for the better. I am over 45 and back to dating.

A lot of men only want sex and will treat the woman very nice for a few dates until they get sex and leave. How the woman acts, how pretty she is, what she has to offer has no bearing at all on the situation because the man already has his mind made up to play her for a fool and use hr for sex then dump her, pretty heartless. These men should go pickup a woman at a bar or a hooker and leave the good girls who want a real lasting relationship alone.

Its like pretending to buy a car and acting interested when all you want is to drive it once and you have no intentions on buying it at al and you lie to the saleman. Also tell me this, how would the man know about all the other wonderful traits this woman has that would endure her to him if he only goes on two dates that last 1 hour each?

Falling in love comes with trust and knowing a person for a minimum of 6 weeks, not 2 hours! My first husband we were friends for 6 weeks then fell in love….

Or a sex hookup site. It had happened to me before. My first love came back into my life asking me out and assuring me he was a gentlmen. We decided to leave the past behind.

We were messaging for months. He even said he wanted go apologize for how he treated me in the past. We went to dinner and we ran into a n x girl of his he assured me he didnt bring me to a place to make her jealous. We had sex, amazing sex, he acted like he was making love to me and insisted on being passionate…etc I even told him i dont know if it is a good idea and he said he aint into games.

Well when we woke he was very detached and on his cell the entire time. He ignored my text about having my favorite new bracelet at his house and when i posted on my facebook a statement about having clarity he hit like on it but he never answered my one text to his cell.

A guy friend of mine says he played a game just to use me to make his x jealous and to get sex. I never had someone act like a gentlmen in privated messages for months and on a date, and be so passionate and aroused by sex with me then turn to ice a day later as if we just met. We were childhood sweet hearts so this is shocking.

What do you got to say about this case? All this talk of women keeping legs closed is given men a pass in being so horny that they got to lie and meniuplate women to get sex. My question is, why does he bother to text me at all? I wish you all the best. You know it only takes once…. I had a man just do the same thing to me. I am still hurting over it its been 6 weeks now. These men are hurting nice girls they should pick up a girl on the street or go to a bar….

I am in desperate need of advice. I am divorced for three years. And I just started to date recently. I met someone online and we went on three really fun dates. The 4th date was a lot of fun as well. I cooked this man dinner and he stayed over my house.

He has been a gentleman, complementary, opens the car door for me when were out an all-around nice guy. Neither one of us are dating other people. So after our fourth date he has gotten very distant. I have done so much reading prior to me even dating this man that I know that pulling away is an uncommon.

I said happy Valentines Day to him, and he texted back ,same to you!!! We both have very full lives we both have children. So finally after three weeks of this going on with him being distant I sent him a text. He texted back and said he has a lot going on. I do notunderstand what happened to us.

I can honestly say that I am devastated. The feeling of rejection is so painful especially of her going through a divorce. So, how do I take it from here? Any advice mean the world to me.

Keep yourself in check. What part of the responsibility? The part that you have control over: Oh, and that reminds me of the first thing I said: Why would I write about anything else if my interest is to help women get great results? This website is for women who want to have great relationships with men. This things mean something.

Hi, I find your website really useful and helping me understand love and relationship better. I have a boyfriend for nearly 3 years now. I showed my emotions again. The next day I calmed down and asked him for a talk. When we talked I asked questions like if he would be back with his ex. He also said nothing can break their friendship apart and said this is something I have to live with it.

He wanted to take a break to think through things as he said he is confused and asked me not to ask him any questions. Or he still likes his ex? I have the urge to contact him and I am not sure if I should during this take a break period?

What do you see from this whole situation and what do you advice me to do? He texted me before for his hometown and texted when he landed. I have been dating a guy for 2 years and 4 months. What does it mean?

I completely agree with what you are saying. Sometimes it feels like once we give it up to them, we lose any and all control and have to wait and see if they text or call us.. And to be honest with you, at some point they probably will because they still want something from us.

But the signs are not always clear or we always hold out hope: I recently have been hanging out with a guy who has been trying to hook up with me.

I finally kissed him and did some other things no sex and we barely talk anymore.. Sometimes men are just jerks. I met a guy. He called, he texted, and seemed to really like me. When we went out, he was a perfect gentleman. He opened the car and restaurant doors for me, he offered me his jacket when it got cold, he even held my hand as we walked. He told me all this stuff about how his goal was to make me laugh and how he wanted to be with me and every other sweet, yet very realistic, thing a man could say.

Then we had sex. Then the next day, nothing. So I casually reached out to him. For better or for worse, at least I got a decent lay and a few weeks of romance out of it.

And they make it impossible sometimes to know what they really want.. I agree honesty is the best policy… You should at least have the balls to tell someone how you feel afterwards.. He totally gave you the impression that he liked you and then was a complete jerk.. I could so relate to this.. Men honestly make me sick.

If you only want sex, get a prostitute or even better, jerk off. Why cant they have sexual morals? Why do they rape physically and emotionally? Because they can dear: D, there is no doubt in my mind xD, maybe you will even believe that we love you. Read your comment… did you have any reason for posting that other than to pick a fight and spew your bitterness, anger and negative energy into this page? Cupcake, I must agree with what this author is saying regarding having negative viewpoints about men.

You will only attract the shady ones, as healthy men can sense it and will run away. Have you ever heard of the confirmation bias? Have you ever challenged your beliefs? After all, the common denominator in all your relationships is you.

I was once in a very abusive relationship. The man I was with was diagnosed with bipolar disorder. He had strong, negative, beliefs about women. Despite being faithful and trying to love this man, he was too damaged inside to accept love from another person. I quit school due to his extreme jealousy and constant accusations when I should have quit him. It took three years before I was strong enough to leave him, despite the repeated abuse… It was his negative beliefs about women that destroyed the relationship ultimately.

After leaving him, I spent many months blaming him for everything that he did to me and feeling sorry for myself. I learned how to quit repeating negative relationship patterns. Most importantly, I learned to love myself first. I have to say my guy has been upfront with me no strings attached.

He knows I have feelings. He is my best friend and I ended up and still am his rebound girl. I told him that I hate the feeling being used. My heart is caught. I was in a 20 year marriage not even 40 yet was a teen mom and for the first time I fell in love. Your anger at whoever blew you off after you slept with them is showing.

Far too many women place far, far too much focus on getting into a relationship with someone before they bother ever knowing who someone even is.

The relationship is the state of your interactions between one another…and if that sucks, the problem lies with you. YOU and only you are accountable for the quality of your relationships — the quality of your interactions with other people. Your relationship begins when you meet. She said they knew each other for awhile before they started dating and had been dating for a month. Thank you, Professor Des.

This is not an undergraduate communications course. Please tell me how can i admit her that my love is not for sex.. Make her feel comfortable. Be there for her when she needs you. Things like that really.. The guy I was interested in went M. A missing in action right after we had sex, and that was about 2 weeks ago. However, 2 days after we had sex I contacted him. Several days later, I decided to message him online. After that, he went cold.

But I guess… It just sucks. He texted me last week. Also, trust your gut instinct, if you think he is trying to avoid you , then why would you want to be in a relationship with someone like that? I have tried many times telling him that I cannot just get in the mood when he does nothing at all to try to get me in the mood.

Has he lost complete interest in me? Do I just not turn him on so I am just there for only him to have a piece of ass? Does he want to end our relationship and wants another girl? My boyfriend in the past has cheated on me and his other relationships as well.

Can someone please give me some advise? He appears to be quite selfish and your question boils down to is it you or is it him? In actuality, in spite of your attempts to express your feelings to him he continues to ignore it. YOU cannot change him and nothing you say or do is going to change him. Your choice is to stay with this guy and accept this is how he is, who he is, and enjoy a lacking in quality sex life, or break things off and raise your own bar.

He clearly does not love you in any respect. There are over 7 billion people on this planet. Get your man tested before engaging.

Get to know him and maybe use a condom if possible. You will not regret. Can anybody please tell me your thoughts on this because it really is frustrating me! I work in the same place with this extremely good looking guy he is 33 he has a son and I am 20 he is very sweet,nice, friendly,we laugh a lot, always makes eye contact when we talk and initiates the conversation with me,he never fails to stop by to talk to me even if its a for a little and he compliments me sometimes…later on he smiles while I talk to him and he grabs my chin really soft…he has always told me that he respects me so much and if he ever needed anything or even talk I could always go to him not to be scared he will always be there for me..

He told me he wanted to go to the beach at night just to walk together etc Well he then invited me to his house to watch movies and I said yes: He is not married also and he is not he type of guy to ell everyone what happened between us I can assure you that. I really miss him and want a relationship with him: I feel so stupid for having sex w him cause after that he changed…he still is very nice but thats it..

What exactly are you bringing to the table? The last thing you are is clingy. I think Eric has not actually answered her question. I find it strange that a guy should withdraw after sex as it usually makes the couple feel closer.

As you can see, the 4% value is actually somewhat of a worst-case scenario in the 65 year period covered in the study. In many years, retirees could have spent 5% or more of their savings each year, and still ended up with a growing surplus. Guy Kawasaki is the chief evangelist of Canva, an online graphic design tool. Formerly, he was an advisor to the Motorola business unit of Google and chief evangelist of Apple. Summary: Using the Get-Random Cmdlet to select a random list of names instead of numbers Hey! Dr. Scripto! I’d like to pick a random name from a list to generate user names in my lab.