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Trapped in a marriage where the sex was routine, freelance journalist Robin Rinaldi , now 50, embarked on a month experiment in which she lived apart from her husband during the week and took lovers. Stuck in a rut — our once-a-week sex life was loving, but lacked spontaneity and passion — I was craving seduction and sexual abandon.

I was having a midlife crisis and chasing this profound, deeply rooted experience of being female. Before then, starting a family had felt like one route to this elusive state of feminine fulfillment. But Scott had made it absolutely clear he never wanted a baby, and even had a vasectomy. Many people will find this hard to understand, but, as the door to motherhood closed, I found myself rushing towards this whole other outlet of heightened female experience — taking lovers.

I was pretty conservative. Sexually, I was experiencing what happens to a lot of women in their late 30s and early 40s. I was approaching my sexual peak and was relaxing into myself.

I broke the news to Scott that I wanted an open marriage in early , a few months after his vasectomy. Against the idea at first, he eventually relented. Both of us could sleep with whomever we chose as long as we used protection.

My first step was placing an ad on nerve. You must be trustworthy, smart, and skilled at conversation as well as in bed. The first lover I met through nerve. Slim, handsome with glasses and a stylish haircut, he suggested we kiss to test our sexual chemistry.

On our second date, the following week, he came to my studio after work with a cooler of snacks and some wine. We stumbled to the bed, where he turned me onto my hands and knees and took me from behind. Around the same time, I took workshops at OneTaste , a sexual-education center, which has branches in New York and San Francisco, where I lived at the time. OneTaste was the place where I selected most of my lovers, although I picked up a couple of guys, like the year-old in Vegas, on business trips.

OneTaste was populated by cool, open-minded San Franciscans who wanted to expand their horizons. They included an astrologer named Jude, 12 years my junior.

The moment I saw him, I was irresistibly drawn in. Slightly built and neo-hippy, he was spiritual, calm and centered. I was an Italian, meat-eating, busy magazine editor. But we had a real connection. I became infatuated with him, but the sex soon fizzled. Without missing a beat, he reached over and lightly took my fingertips in his.

I loved our conversation, the fact he was a writer, the books he read. Things in the bedroom were mind-blowing and, before I knew it, I was hooked. I stuck to that. It was the perfect balance, living on my own during the week and then returning home.

We knew we were both sleeping with other people, but we kept to the rules and never spoke about it. We had sex as always and the open marriage spiced things up — at least at first.

But, by the end of the month project, moving back home full time proved more difficult than I had thought. Suddenly I found an updated version of myself. She was less shy, more confident, wilder. Meanwhile, it turned out that, for around six months, Scott had been exclusively sleeping with one woman, a lot younger than me. The turning point was hearing from Alden. He sent me an email, out of the blue, several months after the project had come to an end. Before long, we were having sex again.

Being with him was exquisite. After reconnecting with Alden and falling deeply in love with him, there was no going back. Five years on, Alden and I are happily living together. First I channeled the creativity I would have used to become a mom into my sexuality, and then I channeled it into writing my memoir.

As my story shows, there are many different ways in life to find passion and fulfillment. Did Atlantis really exist on the Moroccan coast? View author archive follow on twitter Get author RSS feed. Bored after 18 years with her husband, Robin Rinaldi placed an ad seeking casual encounters with new men and women. She tells what happened on her yearlong sex odyssey in her memoir "The Wild Oats Project. Rinaldi pictured on her wedding day was with her husband for 18 years before deciding she wanted more.

Rinaldi was 44 years old when she experimented with an open marriage. She placed the ad above on nerve. We had intercourse twice and, after he left, I felt satiated. Robin Rinaldi was 44 years old when she experimented with an open marriage. After talking with her husband, she placed an ad online looking for new lovers. And then there was Alden, a writer, in his late 30s, who answered my nerve.

And so the year went on. I slept with a total of 12 people including two women during the Wild Oats Project. Read Next Did Atlantis really exist on the Moroccan coast? Trending Now on NYPost. Kardashians try very hard to make biker shorts chic. Pope Francis cuts to the front of the line of famous ex-bouncers. Weekdays Where to watch. News Corp HarperCollins Marketwatch realtor. Post was not sent - check your email addresses! Sorry, your blog cannot share posts by email.

‘I bedded 12 strangers in a year — with my husband’s permission’

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