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What is it that makes it so popular? Are they looking for justice? Are they looking for family fights? You know, somebody once said that the genesis of the popularity of my program was the O. Justice is supposed to happen. It becomes more gamesmanship. I always believed even when I sat in the family court and I lived in the family court for 25 years before I had this wonderful second career that, at the end of the day, you are supposed to leave that courthouse feeling justice was done.
Sometimes, justice is imperfect. Justice it should be simple. You ask a couple of questions and I see you off on a path pretty early. Is that because of your preparation or are you getting it on in the moment? You were wheeling two of your own very small suitcases.
Alan does the same. I bought clothes that I could roll up into that suitcase … Alan: Unless they were wearing something that had cleavage down to their navel. I was asking you about reading people … Judy: It starts out with a story. It starts out with the common sense of things. You may not be able to explain it, but most things have a rhythm. We eat at the same restaurants four times a week. We eat at the same chairs.
We have our places at the table. We have normal children. If they go off the straight and narrow, we push them back on.
We try to get them on the tracks. I have a brother who I adore. I had parents who I loved. It was a normal growing. I had normal experiences. I begin to question it. I see, for instance, the parents of a young man who died too soon.
They had rejected him early in his life because he told them he was gay. He had friends who are very, very close to him, for years. He wanted his friends to have certain of his possessions and gave them to him because he was terminally ill, and he gave them to his friends. The lawsuit was his parents suing for the return of those items. This happened a long time ago. My sense as a human being was, these were people who adore this man and who made his life comfortable for 25 years.
There was no piece of paper saying- Judy: I want you to have this whatever it was. You have to make justice happen at the end of a trial. There are ways to do that. There are ways to massage the letter of the law to make the right thing happen at the end of a trial, but having to say to the plaintiffs in that case, you have to understand that anger is a much easier emotion to deal with than pain or sorrow.
Was this on the show? They have to sign a paper before they go in saying they have to accept your ruling. The deceased had actually relinquished control over the object prior to his death to his friends. Therefore, the items were no longer the decedents at the time that he died.
That little story is not so different from so many other stories that you could probably recall of … The emotion of anger being so much easier to deal with than sadness or sorrow or reflectiveness. If two people are facing a problem in their relationship and one of them is angry about something and the other one is hurt by the problem, the one who is angry, really, can give a little more room.
Relationship things, for instance. I handled all kinds of cases. Criminal cases with juvenile delinquents, abuse cases, child neglect proceedings, but I also handled family cases. Remembering one very early on before I was a judge, I was actually a lawyer at the time in the family court.
They were very middle class people, professional. He was a professional man. They came to hate each other and they had two children, but they were young. They were in their mid 40s and that they had relatively young children. They became angry with each other. She said she had no money. It taught me a very valuable lesson.
When you first got together, you loved each other. There was joy and all probability because you did it more than once. That case impacted me. It impacted me, actually, through my own divorce, which I had after I was married for 12 years. I had a couple of children. This is actually it. Civilized discourse is gone. I see what you mean. Tell me how you feel. You may disagree with it. You were so inconsiderate. You mean, some kind of love.
Well, I only read about them. Oh, the story itself. Did they really care? The anger was an easier emotion to deal with than the pain, which also existed.
Or do you have to drop negotiation? I do that at work whether you see it or not. I use a lot of different tricks to do that. What are some of the tricks? Actually, I just tried a case last week. This perfectly lovely young man in his late 30s, perhaps early 40s was at a Christmas party.
He was there and also in attendance was the plaintiff and her mother. The plaintiff had a little three or four pound Yorkie. It was, again, her fault because she brought the dog. The woman had a child there with her, young child. A dog is a thing. Let us assume that you are correct. Most jurisdictions think of dogs as chattel, their property, real property, like a table or a cup. I think that animal has a soul and can be sad and it can be happy.
Are you responsible for the vase, for the cost of the vase for whatever it is to put it back again? And will sort of turn the deaf ear to criticism. I have to deal with somebody like that so I got to say … Alan: Is that somebody I know? You come around them tangentially. You know that story? I love that story. What do you mean the cat died? Break it to me slowly. Tell me the cat is on the roof then tell me the cat fell off the roof.
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